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May 22, 2003

the real hillbillies

Posted by Phil on May 22, 2003 10:14 PM

Redneck nation is on its own: Ford Trucks and Toby Keith, the ass-kickin' empty hat who brought us "Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue (The Angry American)", are launching the "Shock 'N Y'all Tour" this June.

Why reinstate the draft? Back Humvees up to the exits and let every half-wit who turns out for a show like this put his ass where his mouth is.

Last night, Mr. Keith was awarded the Association of Country Music's "Entertainer of the Year" award. The Dixie Chicks were booed, and the audience had to be scolded to mind its manners by presenter Vince Gill, who encouraged them to "forgive."

They're the RED states, godammit!


I don't know why everyone is complaining about the prospects of a "Real Hillbillies" show. As an Appalachian Hillbilly myself, I see no end to the possibilities! After this show has run, CBS could present "Real Niggers," "Real Chinks," "Real Injuns," then shows about "Taco-benders," "Coonasses," "Georgia Crackers," etc., etc.

When those social stereotypes are exhausted, the network could be more daring with "Real Cripples," "Real Fatsos," "Real Fruitcakes," and so on. As I said, the possibilities are endless!!

Posted by: Jeannie Reed at May 26, 2003 10:19 PM