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February 13, 2006

Deadeye Dick

Posted by Phil on February 13, 2006 1:31 PM

Mike: "What is our opinion on Mr. Cheney letting fly into a 78-year-old man's face with some birdshot? Did Dick shoot an old man in the face to draw attention away from the mounting Katrina outrage? Is it a trap? Is shooting old people in the face part of a strong enough issue area that Dick feels comfortable engaging in some transgressive behavior because the Democrats don't have enough credibility in the area to mount a serious public offensive?"

Me: "Cheney didn't do it to draw fire, if you will, from the president. He doesn't have a sacrificial bone in his body. His M.O. is attack, attack, attack. Sacrifice is for chumps."

"It's possible Cheney did it to up the ante in displays of arrogance, shamelessness, and transgressive force. As this administration has shown, most recently with the so-called "terrorist surveillance program" and in many other cases one could name, it is possible to spin political gold out of being brutes and fuck-ups, as long as you have the balls to BRAG ABOUT IT afterwards. The more brutal the fuck-up, the better--it shows you've really got brass. And if people think Cheney'd shoot an old man in the face on purpose, well, there are times when fear is more valuable than respect.

"But my own read on the incident isn't nearly as melodramatic: The old man is a prominent lawyer. It's been reported that Scooter Libby has testified that Cheney authorized and perhaps instructed him to release classified information to damage a political opponent. Naturally Cheney and the old man were talking a little shop out there in the field, and when the old man candidly told Cheney that he was screwed if Libby squealed, Cheney told him to go fuck himself and then he shot that old man in the face.

"It probably wasn't premeditated, but once they start spinning it, they're going to find that a lot of people don't mind at all: that many Americans, although they previously would have considered it un-American, even unthinkable, would actually like to shoot some old people in the face, and they're glad--satisfied, in fact, deep in their gut, in a warm, almost primal way that they don't have to feel ashamed of anymore--to see someone finally standing up for that.

"So, Americans once again find they've got a taste for the hard stuff; Karl Rove enjoys a belt of scotch; and Scott McClellan calls it a successful news cycle."

On the other hand:

Cheney, an avid hunter, usually visits the 50,000-acre Armstrong Ranch, settled in 1882, once a year. He also hunts regularly at sites in Georgia and South Dakota. [...] Two years ago, the vice president was criticized for going duck hunting with Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.... A month earlier, he had bagged about 70 stocked pheasants at a private shooting club in Pennsylvania.

That doesn't sound like a man who'd waste valuable birdshot on a human. That sounds like a man focused on killing as many birds as he possibly can.

I'm no knee-jerk condemner of hunting, but 70 birds? Seems like most people would lose interest after the first two or three dozen. What grim efficiency! What single-minded determination! His finger cramps, his aching feet get cold, his atrophied heart cries for rest, but no: The killing must go on.

Much of the responsibility for the incident has been placed on the wounded man, but he probably knew the rules. "Stay outta his way when he's killin'," the old-timers say. "He'll shootcha. He'll shootcha and say ya had it comin'!"

That's why they call him Deadeye.

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Comments

As an avid bird hunter I had to slap my forehead when I heard the story. Sheesh, what a doofus. I highly recommend that he review the "Eddie the Eagle Coloring Book" issued by the NRA for children. There's absolutely no excuse for something like this happening.

And I agree with the 70 bird thing. I've never hunted on private game farms. There's precious little challenge to it. The birds are as dumb as chickens. They lack the survival skills and intelligence that their wild siblings have and will sit in place until you and your dogs find them.

This is bad for hunters and hunting.

Posted by: thp at February 13, 2006 9:07 PM

Ladies and Gentleman, I find it somewhat amuseing that liberals seem to think that this incident was anything except an accident that could have been avoided if Mr. Whittington had followed proper hunting safety protocol. By the way "the old man" has a name and it's Harry Whittington. Reading the fodder on this site should just further convince any rational and intelligent reader that the liberal spin on this unfortunate incident is simply proof that these individuals are out of touch with reality and simply looking for anything to attach something negative to President Bush's administration. I wish these "brain trusts" would apply themselves to solving real issues confronting our nation. If you were as smart as you think you are then the nation would be in much better shape. Instead of doing something about it you seem to find comfort in degrading a man that is striving to protect your intellectual ass's from terrorists and if you think they'd like to reach peace through negotiation then you'd get your throat slit while they gloated about it in front of you as you bled out. Do you not understand that?

Posted by: clint at March 4, 2006 10:47 PM

Instead of doing something about it you seem to find comfort in degrading a man that is striving to protect your intellectual ass's from terrorists

My intellectual ass's what?

O.k. Bad one. Bad one. My bad. I think I meant to say:

His name was Harry Whittington!
His name was Harry Whittington!
His name was Harry Whittington!
His name was Harry Whittington!

And congratulations, Clint, for keeping the talking points faith that it was stupid ol' Harry who got hisself shot by that nice Mr. Cheney ... Even Dick's not saying that, but you know better than to stand down from your post, even weeks later.

You rock, dude.

Seriously.

Oh ... gosh ... one more, one more:

the liberal spin on this unfortunate incident is simply proof that these individuals are out of touch with reality and simply looking for anything to attach something negative to President Bush's administration.

Dude, I'd pay cash fucking money if all we'd had to do over the past six years to "attach something negative" to this administration was catch the vice president drunkenly shooting a lawyer in the face. Seriously. That'd be getting off light.

Posted by: Michael Hall at March 5, 2006 9:34 AM